The Dark Mother
“Oh Mother of the Dark Womb,
from which all things come,
to which all things return.
Hidden by a disk of darkness
many may reject you;
many may refuse your sacred fear.
Those who gaze away from your dark face
lose the touch of the feminine.
Those who look into the dark
find you there.
To you we bow.”
The wild woman of sensuality, straddling the beast of the creative force and pouring with the pleasures and wisdom of the earth.
A mysterious mistress of the hearth, of story telling, of herbs and healing.
A queen of the night forces, who equally is empress of green fruitful meadows where flowers abound.
Pouring blood of maidenhood on dry and ancient well.
She be a home for toad, bat and crow.
She welcomes the night forces.
Find her down avenues that lay overgrown, unexplored and feared.
She is the hag that’s thrown to the outskirts, beyond the borders where the sensible would dare to venture. Some call her Kali Ma.
The life is in the Blood
Kali is Mother Nature, the dark goddess who consumes life.
She shows us where and how we give our power into the field of life.
She is the mirror that reflects life back to us.
Her mirror shows us how we consume life, and in turn, how life in consumes us.
Kali Ma is the blood. It has been said that the life is in the blood. Kali Ma is the great Mother Nature. She is the ruthless force of nature that drinks blood. She is at once the blood of creation, and she who drinks it.
Kali Ma is the stream of nature and mother to the innocent.
The innocent are those who trust in the wisdom and way of nature. There may be some things in our lives that we can’t trust, but nature never lies. She may be ruthless and destructive in her bloody laws, but she is ever honest.
The Ritual of Kali Ma
Welcome the age-old ritual that calls upon the Goddess Kali Ma. The Tantrics regard Kali Ma as mother nature herself.
She is the dark womb, the Maha Yogini and the queen of witches.
Kali Ma represents the origin of life and contains the unstoppable power of creation and destruction.
Through the ritual practices of Kali Ma, the Yogin opens the lid that rests upon primal femininity.
Through Tantric ritual the Yogin attempts to open a ceremonious field of magic, creative chaos and birth.
In this ritual, under Kali Ma’s guidance, we will uncover the witch’s cauldron that bubbles within our lower womb of creation and destruction.
Lifting the lid, we shall first stir, and then drink from the deep primal well of Kali Ma.
Savoring the essence that has been brewing for uncounted ages in the womb-pot of power. In that pot, we might meet suppressed emotions and other aspects of our character that we might not have dared to taste thus far.
Divorcing the divine father from the earthly mother, results in the suppression of the feminine aspects of our personality.
We might even ask the question – What does feminine even mean?
On this ritual night, we will work with ancient Tantric practices, with the focus on making contact with, and awakening the power that lays in wait for us in the Womb of Power.
Shaktistaan is the old Yogic name given to the creative center in both women and men. This word literally translates as the Land of the Goddess…
It is to this land we voyage, for it is in this land that Kali Ma dwells.
Kali Ma is all-consuming-time, or rather, she is the consumer of the all-consuming-time. When she is awoken and approached, she starts to consume the line of time.
The closer we move to Kali Ma, the more of the line of our time she consumes.
The closer we move to Kali Ma, the more frightening she become, as the familiar line of time is uprooted and the sense of lostness comes upon us.
Lostness is a spiritual condition.
Lostness is the grey shaded area of uncertainty and fear, cultivating this lostness is a requirement for coming close to Kali Ma.
We might be in the habit of avoiding the feeling of lostness by safely securing ourselves into areas of certainty and conviction. A degree of certainty is certainly required to exist within the system that we live within.
But Kali Ma reminds us that we live in a greater spiritual system where certainty becomes a doorway that stands between her and us.
Spiritual security is a foreign concept in the land of Kali.
In her land, there are no saving sentiments, no guiding testaments, and no certain laws or holy moral codes to resign ourselves to.
The Lost Child and the Mother
While we might believe we should be busy solidifying and securing inner spiritual convictions and beliefs, Kali ma chews up and spits out such psychic sentiments and thought forms. All secure certainties to hold upon are the killers of the child that can approach her.
Only the lost child can approach Kali Ma.
The lost child is an innocent spirit that is modest and humble enough to not put its stamp of approval upon reality.
We could say that to approach Kali Ma, we have to learn to resign psychic certainty.
Then again, we could say that to approach Kali Ma, we need to learn to embrace lostness within the infinity of spiritual being. Or perhaps we might best of all say, that we must simply remember what we once knew.
There was once a time that we lived in the realm of Kali Ma. There was once a time that certainly of spirit was our least concern.
Perhaps as we developed into embracing the certainties that are required to function within the system that we live within, we slowly took a certain grip on the spiritual world too?
Going to School
If we do not get the bus to our school at 8:30 for a 30-minute journey, we will not arrive at 9:00 o clock, and therefore risk punishment or even humiliation.
It is quite certain that if the school-child renounces the certainty of the alarm-clock and wanders freely to the bus stop at 10:00 or 11:00 o clock, that (s)he will not arrive at 9:00 o clock.
When this clockwork-consciousness takes a grip on our spiritual life and fills our inner world with spiritual codes and structures, then we step out of the free wandering child of the spiritual world.
We might even take pride that we have prevailed over the inner uncertainty of the spirit.
We might think we have learned our lessons in the school of life when we have prevailed over the wilderness of the spirit and replaced uncertainty with certain timetables and certificates of accomplishment.
For the Tantric, to lose the infinity of spiritual uncertainty and lostness, is a failure in the school of life.
To decode the structures of the inner life and tear up clock-work landscapes, along with the bus routes and school buildings of the spirit, is for the Tantric, the path of learning.
The bus will take its familiar route daily, havoc may even ensue if it is late according to the structures of the system that we live within.
In the spiritual life, there are no roads and routes, there is no bus-stop, there is no school-building and the bus never leaves, because it never comes!
It is possible to navigate within the structures of the system in which we live, while at the same time traveling through the inner uncertainty of the realms of Kali Ma.
These two realms are not dependent on one another.
There is a great secret and paradox in this statement.
Ponder on this.
The left hand Tantric, honours the rhythms of the heart that can’t be confined to a structure.
When the heart is confined to a structure, it is the end of creativity in every sense.
Confining the heart and it’s rhythms of feeling may pass as success and accomplishment within the system in which we live, but to say it again, it is the end of creativity in every sense.
The spirit is creative and needs not learn how to create, nor learn what to create, for the spirit simply is creative. Returning to primordial creativity is the step towards Kali Ma.
The Tantrics cultivate the inner lostness, the very nature of Tantric practices puts us in positions of uncertainty and vulnerability.
There is no right or wrong way to approach an inner Tantric Mudra for instance, there is simply just approaching it.
Take the example of a backbend in the branch of Tantric Asan.
The backbend is a dropping into the unknown. The backbend is the looking into the unfamiliar.
The back bend softens with time if we cultivate the feeling for spiritual lostness. This is why this is such a central movement in Tantra.
Our inner psychic restraints manifest as rigidities and holding in the backbend.
The ability to fall and breath into the unknown of the backbend, reveals the state of our psychic landscape.
Sometimes we might push and struggle our way into the bend, hoping for more depth. Sometimes we might stay reserved and not dare to approach the unknown, and therefore just play it safe.
This playing it safe, is the deep spiritual un-safety for the Tantric.
By playing it safe, we move into rigidity and away from the innocence of infinity.
All the sensations and inner realities that the backbend arouses in us are a subject of study, that teach us far more than the teaching of the correct position.
The backbend is much more than a bodily motion. It is an inner attitude to enter ‘lostly’ into the great mystery that can never be known.
Some call it the unknown, the Tantrics call it the unknowable.
Kali Ma is the goddess who licks at our Karmic cycles. A lick seems harmless enough, but when it’s repeated cyclically and continually it reveals everything. A drop of water repeated repetitiously in sequence, has the power to erode a stone.
The cyclic licks of Kali Ma can erode the encasement that surrounds the sacred heart.
On the path of Kali Ma we face fear. By facing fear we begin to move towards Kali Ma and thus towards the healing of Karmic cycles.
Our Karmic cycles live beneath the covering of fear.
When we remove ourselves from fear, we close ourselves off from facing our Karmic patterns and programs… this is the very definition of Tamas.
The sense of spiritual lostness that comes from facing fear, turns us into the child that Kali Ma embraces.
Fear is the encasement upon the unknown and unknowable. Fear is the uncertainty of spirit that opens the door to infinite potential.
Kali Ma is the one who stands beyond and behind the door that is sealed by spiritual certainty.
What has been giving birth to our reality?
Who is the mother that is giving birth to our reality?
Approaching Kali Ma is to give up one mother for another.
Kali Ma is the dark mother, she is cited as being the destroyer of time.
What does this mean in a practical sense?
When we start to look at the past it is sometimes not easy to accept, and we don’t always have to.
The Tantric work that goes into the inner structures of the soul, comes upon our ancestral patterns.
Kali Ma, being the mother behind all mothers, requires up to face all the mothers we have known, this includes our ancestry.
Working with ancestral patterns can create a deep-rooted energetic shift in us that is not always visible to the mind.
The mind can be slow to grasp the lessons that the spirit learns… and the mind does not always immediately follow. The mind can often come later in the maturity of looking upon what the spirit sees…
Forgiving the Mother
There can be reasons that the mind does not accept certain things, and it does not have to.
By not accepting certain things, we can be geared towards our destiny.
By prematurely forcing oneself to accept what is unacceptable in the name of healing, we can cut away important lessons and leave ourselves stunted.
Tantric work with forgiveness is a heavy affair. To even start approaching forgiveness is a profound thing.
The spiritual path begins and ends with forgiveness, but it can’t always be a fast process.
Tantric work with the ancestral realms, can show us the structures in ourselves that hold onto certain things. The ‘things’ that we hold onto are not the real issue at hand.
The issue of addressing the structures in us that clutch onto ‘things’ is what Tantric ancestral ritual primarily addresses.
The ‘things’ are secondary and have a tendency to resolve themselves when the structures of our psychic self are looked at and worked with.
Ancestral work becomes primary in the path of healing. Yogins have given ancestral work a central place of importance in their spiritual practices.
The lines of influence of our ancestry can make us do many things. It is the ‘ghost in the machine’ that makes us do things the way that we do.
These motions are sometimes invisible and taken to be ourselves.
But sometimes what is happening in our heart and mind is far from who we really are.
Tantrics investigate within themselves, where the familial spirits move. The reality of the psychic world and its structures is delved into in ritualised focus on the Yogic path.
It is mainly a practically applied subject with Inner Mudra and the evocation of the forces that move and dance us from behind the scenes.
Even further behind the forces that move us from behind the scenes is Kali Ma.
She is behind that which is behind.
She Tramples on Time
In the looking into of our inner patterns, we might discover a self that’s not bound up in those patterns.
We sometimes start to strip ourselves of the ornaments and clothing of the past, and see that we are sitting between the two choices of our ancestral lines.
Tantrics have often suspended all activity to discover the motivation of that which really moves us.
Ritual focus is an austere period of suspension. Such times of meditation and suspension are important if we are to look behind the motions of the roles played out on the theatre of life.
The ritual is a way of stepping out of habitual and often favorable motion. In that suspension we discover something in between.
Kali is the destruction of time, she tramples on time, she is time and it’s destruction, ‘and at the same time’ she is beyond, behind and between time and destruction.
She destroys the relativity and illusion of motion.
To reach her is to reach inside.